When you give feedback, look for “The Bounce.”
Giving and receiving constructive feedback usually does not come easily to leaders. In my opinion, it is in the categories of life skills - along with things like financial literacy and car/home care - that should be incorporated into standard education. Until that time comes, we are left to figure it out on our own, sometimes the hard way.
Today’s Quick Tip focuses on how to follow up on a constructive feedback conversation with a team member or colleague. Here’s my take: I believe people want to do well in their jobs. I believe that we don’t always have the information or skills necessary to do our jobs well - yet. Feedback - and effectively following up on it - can be the catalyst that enables the growth of both you and the other person.
Here’s the key: pay less attention to how a team member responds to the initial feedback conversation and more to how they behave after the conversation.
Constructive feedback can elicit various responses from people - some get defensive, some become victims or blamers, and some will even acknowledge and validate your points, thank you for your wisdom, and turn around and do the same thing over and over again.
This is why I look for “the bounce.” Let’s assume that giving a performance-oriented team member constructive feedback bottoms them out a bit, hence the initial drop in the graphic above. After that conversation, I specifically look for behaviors that show they are trying to incorporate the feedback into their work. That’s the bounce - behavior change in the direction of the feedback. It may start small at first and it can build, especially when recognized and celebrated.
Here are a few points of emphasis:
First, the manager has to press “restart” and break from any assumptions that the employee will behave a certain way. This can be challenging because she may have held onto those assumptions while she worked up the nerve to deliver the feedback in the first place. But it is so important that managers release themselves—and their employees—from this negatively tuned confirmation bias and be open to seeing shifts that may be there.
Secondly, part of looking is also acknowledging and celebrating the changes she sees. Let’s be honest - it is hard to change, so let’s put a high value on effort. Recognition and encouragement go a long way to locking in new approaches.
Finally, when the manager recognizes their team member’s efforts, it also reinforces the positive power of feedback, which is a recognition of the effort they put into having the conversation in the first place. Everyone wins!
Hope this Quick Tip was helpful. I’m trying out a new thing with these and would appreciate any feedback you have (positive or constructive). Who knows - I might just act on it. 😉
